Free Food

Maybe you are homeless but you have too much pride to panhandle. Maybe you just need something to eat and there isn't a soup kitchen nearby or a church handing out food. Maybe you just don't want to be preached at just to get a decent meal. Whatever the case may be you are going to need to score some food. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I don't condone stealing myself unless it's for food and you are desperate. At that point you are just trying to survive. Although a human can go several days if not weeks without food, I wouldn't recommend trying to starve more than a day or so. You need energy to survive out here.

You can always try the dine and dash scam but not only can this get you in trouble with the cops if you get caught, you are also screwing over some poor waitress or waiter that might have to pay for your meal out of his or her tips. There are easier ways to score food.

One of my favorites is the hotel breakfast scam. To pull this off you need to dress the part. You can't walk in looking like a bum. Any hint at all that you are homeless and you're going to get caught. You also need to be at the hotel early but not too early. Weekend mornings are best after about 7am because there's going to be a lot of people coming and going.

What you need to do is blend in and act like you have a room at the hotel. Be careful because some hotel chains make you have a room key to access the breakfast but most of the time you can sneak in behind someone. If they have an open grill you may need your room key to place your order so I wouldn't recommend trying that. What you can do is grab some cereal or pastries, maybe some toast, or even a bagel. If there's tables you can eat your breakfast right there, if not just take your food to go. Don't stuff your pockets or get too greedy and bring negative attention to yourself. Be polite and respectful and blend in with the crowd.

This works at most hotels but it may be more effective if the hotel is off the beaten path. Hotels in the city might be on to this scam. If you have a car you can try different hotels until you find one that works. You might want to call around and get the continental breakfast schedules and write them down. Don't use the same place more than twice in a row.

Another scam to get free food is the fast food scam. There are several ways to pull this off. Sometimes you'll need a receipt and sometimes you won't. If you can get one it's always best to have a receipt handy. Simply go to a fast food joint and walk around. You should find a receipt easily. Dig through the trash if you have to. If you can't find a receipt you can always find a half-eaten burger or fries and take that back to the manager. If you have a cellphone call ahead and explain your order got screwed up. Most managers will want a receipt or the food back. Sometimes they will just write your name in a book. Sometimes this works out better than you think it will. It's rare but I've had a restaurant replace my meal and give me cash when I never even paid!

I justify this scam because I have been ripped off by fast food joints hundreds of times in my life and rarely have a I taken the time to get my order replaced or get my money back. Usually it just wasn't worth it.

As with anything you don't want to hit the same place up too many times in a row. You'll end up burning the place out. Not every place is going to be nice. Some managers are just plain dicks. Just be polite and if it doesn't work move on to the next place. If all else fails, simply stand outside the restaurant and ask someone to buy you a cheeseburger. People don't like to just hand over their money because they think you'll go buy booze or drugs, but 9 times out of 10 someone will buy you something to eat. It won't take you more than 5 minutes to get some type of food.

Another good way to scam free food is to crash large parties or picnics. It's easy to blend in but this takes some careful planning. A friend and I actually crashed a wedding reception once. It was very easy to do. We even managed to get free drinks.

If you don't want to scam a place out of food you can try asking someone in the back of the house to cook you up something or ask them if they have any food they getting ready to throw out. When I was homeless in Laguna Beach this was easy to do because the kitchen to some restaurants was open and facing the sidewalk. My buddy and I would tell the cooks we were homeless and ask them to cook us a couple of tacos. This actually worked if you asked them nicely. Another restaurant would give out free soup and bread if you asked. They didn't advertise this, it was something you had to know.

There's a rumor I've heard that Kentucky Fried Chicken will give anyone that is hungry free chicken around closing time. The story is something about it was Colonel Sander's policy to feed the hungry. I haven't tried it but several homeless people have told me it works. I'm sure if you went to any fast food joint around closing, explained that you are homeless and asked if they had any food they were going to throw out most would give you something.

I've also heard Trader Joe's puts all their expired bread out behind their stores at night and leaves it for anyone that is hungry. I would get there right about 9pm before it all gets picked over.

If you have half a brain there is no reason to sit there and be hungry. Before I knew these tricks I spent many nights going to sleep hungry. I wish I would have known this stuff a long time ago.