Today is the day many sons and daughters get together with their fathers. Today is also a day I would rather just pretend didn't exist.
My birth father is a total douchbag. He was a useless father. He taught me nothing but anger and how to hate. He was an alcoholic and was very verbally and physically abusive.
Just how drunk was he? He would drive home drunk from parties and family events and I would have to hold the steering wheel to keep him from veering off the freeway. I would also have to try to keep him from passing out at the wheel. No kid should have to do this from the passenger seat.
He also beat me. I remember being 4 or 5 years old and wetting my pants at daycare because I had kidney problems. My father would beat me for it and threaten to put me in a foster home.
The abuse went on for years. He told me I was no good, that I was a loser, that I would never be anybody. He made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on earth. He took every little bit of self-esteem I had and stripped it away from me.
The man is a total dick. He has money. He owns real estate, several houses and apartment complexes. His son is homeless and on dialysis and he could give a shit.
He thinks he is better than everyone when in reality he just puts up a false front. He abuses his immediate family but treats his friends and extended family like gold.
He's just an uneducated fuck that probably hates himself so much he has to belittle people. I despise anyone that abuses children. He's still at it. He hasn't learned his lesson. He abuses my little sister to this day, so bad she is in and out of mental institutions. He's just a piece of shit. I would love to knock his block off. If I get my health back and that man ever comes near me I just might punch his fucking lights out.
I'm not completely blaming my lousy upbringing on my parents. I have to take control of my own life. But you cannot deny not having a positive adult role model in a child's life shapes that child into who they become.
There are some people that should have never had kids. My parents are worthless human beings. I look forward to the day I get the news that they fucking die. I don't feel that way about anyone else on this earth. They are just soulless fucking people.
Father's Day sucks. All this commercialism and shoving this garbage down our throats. I have an idea, how about people earn the right to be called a "father." This man will never be known as a father to me. Just the biggest piece of shit I have ever met.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
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