Father's Day

Today is the day many sons and daughters get together with their fathers. Today is also a day I would rather just pretend didn't exist.

My birth father is a total douchbag. He was a useless father. He taught me nothing but anger and how to hate. He was an alcoholic and was very verbally and physically abusive.

Just how drunk was he? He would drive home drunk from parties and family events and I would have to hold the steering wheel to keep him from veering off the freeway. I would also have to try to keep him from passing out at the wheel. No kid should have to do this from the passenger seat.

He also beat me. I remember being 4 or 5 years old and wetting my pants at daycare because I had kidney problems. My father would beat me for it and threaten to put me in a foster home.

The abuse went on for years. He told me I was no good, that I was a loser, that I would never be anybody. He made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on earth. He took every little bit of self-esteem I had and stripped it away from me.

The man is a total dick. He has money. He owns real estate, several houses and apartment complexes. His son is homeless and on dialysis and he could give a shit.

He thinks he is better than everyone when in reality he just puts up a false front. He abuses his immediate family but treats his friends and extended family like gold.

He's just an uneducated fuck that probably hates himself so much he has to belittle people. I despise anyone that abuses children. He's still at it. He hasn't learned his lesson. He abuses my little sister to this day, so bad she is in and out of mental institutions. He's just a piece of shit. I would love to knock his block off. If I get my health back and that man ever comes near me I just might punch his fucking lights out.

I'm not completely blaming my lousy upbringing on my parents. I have to take control of my own life. But you cannot deny not having a positive adult role model in a child's life shapes that child into who they become.

There are some people that should have never had kids. My parents are worthless human beings. I look forward to the day I get the news that they fucking die. I don't feel that way about anyone else on this earth. They are just soulless fucking people.


Father's Day sucks. All this commercialism and shoving this garbage down our throats. I have an idea, how about people earn the right to be called a "father." This man will never be known as a father to me. Just the biggest piece of shit I have ever met.

Sign of the Times

If you are going to panhandle you're going to have to come up with a clever sign. Or maybe not. In all honestly, it hardly matters what you write on your sign. A lot of people don't even read your sign, and still give you money. I've heard stories of panhandlers just holding a blank piece of cardboard and STILL raking in the money.

Maybe you still want to be clever or funny. There's some good signs that I've seen. I prefer not to be too clever or funny because it doesn't really matter, and I don't want someone taking my picture and posting it on the web if I can help it.

One thing you might want to consider is should you ask for money? Some panhandlers believe the police can't give you a ticket if you are not asking for cash. In my experience this is hogwash. As long as you are accepting donations from people or vehicles cops can and will find a way to ticket you if they really want to.

Here's a few of my favorite signs that I've seen:

Gas Can Scam

I was visiting a friend's panhandling blog and a woman wrote a comment about people that panhandle at gas stations. She wanted to know if these guys are legit or just pulling a fast one. I can tell you from experience that 99% of the time this is a scam.

There are guys that do this for a living. They actually drive from gas station to gas station hitting people up for gas money. What they want is money. They don't actually want gas. Let me give you an example. There was this kid I used to panhandle with. We got busted a couple of times for holding a sign too close to the off-ramp. He told me about this gas station scam so I rode along with him a couple of times.

Like I said, he didn't want gas. There were people that would offer to fill up his tank. (This is when gas was somewhat reasonable.) If his tank wasn't empty he would get caught in his lie. There were times when all people would do is offer gas, no cash, and the tank would get full quickly. This would put him in awkward spot if he asked someone for gas money and they offered to give him a few gallons. He would just drive away.

I tried this a few times but the gas station scam was never my thing. It's kind of like cold-calling. I couldn't deal with the rejection. Some people would flip out on me! I also didn't like lying. At least with holding a sign you can choose to give or not give. I'm not in your face.

There are obvious advantages to panhandling at the gas station. You are not a sitting duck. You can hit gas stations at peak hours and move along quickly. If someone tells you to leave or threatens to call the cops you can just move to the next gas station or town. When you are holding a sign you are a sitting duck. The cops can see what you are up to from a mile away. I'm also pretty sure you can make a lot more money doing the gas station scam. That is if you have the balls to pull it off.

I knew a heroin addict that claimed he could make $250 in just a few hours doing the gas can scam. I don't know if it's true but I did see a girl do it one day and she had over $100 in bills she was sorting through in her lap in a car.

If you see a van full of kids claiming to be out of gas, this is a ruse too. My friends and I used to pull this when we were teenagers and needed beer money.

Bottom line, don't fall for it. Once in a blue moon there might be an honest person that really is stranded and out of gas but most of the time this is how they are making a living. If you really want to help someone out, offer to give them gas. Have them pull their car up and you pump the gas. Believe me, if they are lying and their tank is full they will just drive away. If you put $10 on their pump they will pretend they are pumping gas and as soon as you drive away they will go back inside and get the change back.

Verify their story, use common sense, and use your gut instinct, and you won't fall this scam.

Cold Hard Cash

OK, I'm going to be honest here. You've probably already guessed that the guy holding the sign wants cold hard cash and not food. Yet time and time again people give out food. Let me tell you why that's not such a good idea.

Most homeless people aren't starving. The only homeless people that are going hungry are the ones that aren't resourceful enough to find food. If a guy is holding a sign he's probably pretty resourceful.

There is food everywhere. People hand it out in parks, in soup kitchens, in churches, almost anywhere. Sometimes it isn't easy to get food but if you are hungry enough it can be found. You might have to hop on a bus or make it to a church by a certain time but food is plentiful.

When I'm panhandling I can't tell you how often people will give me food. A little bit of food is OK but sometimes people will give me so much stuff I can't even carry it all and if a few people give me food it always works out that even more people will give me food. It gets to a point where I carry a big backpack just to carry all the food and even that isn't big enough!

I try to never do it unless I have to, but most panhandlers I know will just throw the food in the bushes. The food is nothing more than a burden to them. If it is a really good food they might share it but most of the time it will just pile up with all the other liter on the sidewalk and in the bushes. The only times I  do this is when I don't have a choice, I have no way of carrying the extra food and I can't find anyone to give it way to.

If you really must give food instead of money try gift certificates. I know for me those will get used and I could easily carry them and use them later on when I get hungry. McDonald's gift certificates work great because there's a McDonald's on every corner and it's cheap. It's not the healthiest of options but it's better than your food going to waste.

I always like bottled water as long as it is cold. Not to be picky but when it's 100 degrees outside and someone hands me a bottle of water out of their trunk I have to roll my eyes. At least make sure the water is suitable for drinking!

I also don't want your half-eaten leftovers from the restaurant you just got done eating at. Sorry, but I don't know what diseases you have or what someone may have put in it. I'm never so hungry that I'm going to eat your half-eaten cheeseburger!

The same can be said for the little baggies of toiletries and goodies that people make up for the homeless. These are great at first but I must of collected 30 razors, 50 pairs of socks, countless sticks of deodorant, and a million toothbrushes. At some point I just have to throw that little baggie away and I feel bad about that.

Should You Give to Panhandlers?

Should you give to panhandlers? You might be surprised my answer is probably NOT. This is advice coming from a panhandler himself.

I'm not saying you should never give. I'm going to share my insider knowledge so that you know that if you give your money isn't likely going to booze or drugs.

90% of panhandlers only want cash so they can feed their addictions. A lot of panhandlers started panhandling because of their addictions. They can't hold down a regular job. They need fast money. These guys ruin it for the people that really do need help.

So how can you be sure you are giving to the 10% that really need help and they are not going to spend your hard earned money on booze or drugs? There are a few things you have to watch out for. Some are obvious, some not so much.

If you see a panhandler staggering, slurring his speech, shaking, talking way too fast, or talking way too slow, there is a good chance he/she is either high or drunk. That's pretty obvious. But sometimes panhandlers can hide it well or may be sober, for the moment.

The best thing you can do is take the time to talk to the panhandler. I know this means pulling your car over, or taking 10 minutes out of your day, but this is you're hard earned money your giving someone right?

The first thing you should do is offer to buy the panhandler lunch or a sandwich. If the panhandler is truly legit and in need he will probably graciously accept your offer. If he's just looking for a quick cash handout he will decline your offer 9 times out of 10. I guarantee it.

Taking a person to lunch makes them feel like you truly care. Take 10 or 15 minutes and listen to their story or just shoot the shit. You will gain a lot of insight into why they are panhandling and what they may need. If after you eat with them you feel like giving them a few dollars at least you will feel good knowing it's really going to help someone and not just enabling an addict.

If you don't have time to sit down and eat a quick lunch you can always just offer to buy them a coffee or at the very least just talk to the panhandler for a few minutes before giving any money.

Believe me, if people did this it would eliminate some of the scam artists and addicts out there. You can tell a lot about a man if you just listen to his story for a few minutes.

Should Panhandling Be Illegal?

There are a lot of people that would like to see panhandling completely go away, and in some places it already has. Even in places where panhandling isn't "illegal" cops will find ways to run panhandlers out of town or arrest them for other crimes, made-up or real.

Let's face it, most people don't like panhandlers because of their own insecurities. Sure, it looks bad, but is it really bothering anyone? I agree that aggressive panhandling should go away. Nobody needs to be harassed for their money. My only issue with laws banning aggressive panhandling is the interpretation of what's aggressive and what's not. If a cop wants to be an asshole then he can exaggerate the situation and allege that someone is being aggressive when they're really not. It's a slippery slope.

If someone is simply holding a sign and being perfectly polite I don't see that as aggressive panhandling. If a guy can hold a sign advertising a sandwich shop or other goods or services then why can't a homeless person hold a sign?

Back when I was on the East Coast I seen panhandlers holding signs while trying to intimidate drivers. They will actually walk right up to a car and nearly put their sign in the driver's face while glaring at them. I would never give this type of panhandler money. That just makes people even more afraid than they already are. Why would they even want to roll down their window when it looks like you are going to rob them?

There are also other panhandlers that do not take a no for an answer or if you give them a dollar or two they will act insulted and ask for more. That's aggressive panhandling and it's wrong. You need to always be grateful for whatever someone gives you. People don't owe you anything. I have been giving a small handful of change that didn't add up to more than 20 cents and I didn't throw it back or insult the person helping me out. The aggressive, rude panhandlers give us all a bad name and need to be taken off the streets or get their act together.

I remember a story Adam Carolla told about a panhandler he encountered in LA. Adam rolled down his window and gave this guy holding a sign $10. The panhandler looked at the money then looked back at Adam and said, "Hey, you're that guy on TV! You can afford to give me more than $10! Come on man!"

Adam replied, "Sure I COULD afford to give you a $100,000 if I wanted to but I'm not going to do that!"

Unfortunately there are many stories about aggressive panhandlers. I hope the police will keep these types in check without making it all go away. You really don't want panhandling outlawed completely.

If panhandling were to be completely outlawed you are going to see crime increase dramatically. People will do things out of desperation to get money. Drugs users and alcoholics will find other ways to get money fast. Property crime will rise. Violent crime will increase. As a society we will be paying more to lock these guys up and most of them will be released right back onto the streets again.

Banning panhandling won't eliminate it. Robbing a bank is against the law yet it still happens every day. Because panhandling is a very minor crime, and in most cases a citable offense, you will see the courts tied up dealing with these infractions even when the average homeless guy doesn't have any money to pay the fines and/or court costs. When the fines don't get paid the panhandler eventually ends up in jail. Now you have jails that are already overcrowded filling up with homeless guys that can't pay simple fines. To hold one inmate in jail for 24 hours cost taxpayers on average $168 a day! That doesn't even include the costs of processing and booking the inmate each time he/she gets arrested. Now you have an officer being taken off the street and another more serious crime is probably going to be committed easily.

Now if you want to pay a lot more in taxes and hire more officers and really make our country a police state then this plan to stop panhandling might work. But our government is already going bankrupt. We are already paying  many officers over $100K a year because of overtime. Is this REALLY the answer?

Panhandling will never completely go away anyways. Most likely the panhandler will just move to a different location. I know panhandling looks bad. It's an eyesore. Most people don't want to be reminded of what could happen to them. Other people want to pretend homelessness doesn't exist. It's more of a personal issue. One person might see a panhandler and be happy that even though life is tough at the moment, it isn't THAT tough, it could always be worse. It helps some people. Another person just wants it to go away because quite frankly it scares the shit of them or it just looks bad. It's all perspective.

If you really want panhandling to go away there is only one real answer, don't give your money to us. As long as there are people willing to give there will always be panhandlers. Nobody is going to hold a sign all day if they aren't getting any money. Until that well runs dry, society is going to have to deal with it.

The Panhandler Tax

In some places panhandling is illegal or cops have found ways to use other traffic laws to try to eliminate panhandlers. Let me explain why this doesn't work.

Some panhandlers might get scared off after one ticket or a couple encounters with the police. This type of panhandler probably hasn't been doing it long. He's an amateur. A professional panhandler knows that this is inevitable. It comes with the territory.

Most panhandlers aren't scared of a ticket or even arrest. Most look at it like it's a tax for doing business.

I'll use my experience in Southern California as an example. I didn't get harassed by the police every day. Sometimes I went weeks without encountering a officer. I was always aware of my surroundings and made sure to limit my exposure to the police as much as possible. Inevitably though I would get stopped every so often. Most of the time I would get a warning. If it was an officer I had already dealt with a few times I might get a ticket.

The ticket was for panhandling within 500 feet of a freeway. The fine was $277. If I get the ticket in September I have at least 2 months before I have to go to court or pay the fine. Toward the end of my 2 months I go to the court clerk and ask for an extension. I believe I could get at least 2 extensions. By playing the game I am now in December or January before I even have to go before a judge.

When I finally do see a judge I can either get the ticket reduced or thrown out. I can also opt for something they call "homeless court" in Orange County. If all else fails I might have to pay the $277 for the ticket at which time I can set up payment arrangements or just sit out the fine in jail.

This is the tax for doing business. It's a risk most of us are willing to take because the money we make is good enough to risk the small punishment.

How To Avoid Police Contact

When you are homeless you are probably going to come in contact with the police. As a matter in fact I almost guarantee you will at some point but here are ways to minimize your contact with the law. Cops don't like dealing with the homeless. They will harass you or try to run you out of town. They will even make shit up. It's best just to avoid dealing with cops at all.

Rule # 1: Stay away from other homeless people. Groups of homeless attract police attention. This goes without saying but this a pitfall for many. I have found when hanging out in groups of homeless people there are always one or two idiots that will do something that will make us all stand out more than we already do. Either you will have a guy drinking out of a bottle out in the open or you will have some other guy being drunk, loud, and looking disheveled. The best way to avoid this is just to stay away from groups. Find a homeless friend that you can trust and someone that like you doesn't appear to be homeless. Do you best to blend in with society and you won't give the police a reason to talk to you.

Rule # 2: Be careful where you sleep. If you don't want to wake up to a police flashlight shining in your eyes you should know where you should and shouldn't sleep. As a general rule you want to avoid sleeping in public parks. Unless it's a very large park with a forest where you can camp without being detected I wouldn't recommend sleeping in it. The police patrol urban parks often.

Don't sleep in business districts. These may look inviting because it looks like nobody is around but nearly all business parks have security and the police patrol often. Don't even think about parking your car and sleeping here. I'm the exception rather than the rule. I scouted a business park and was able to sleep there for several months without getting caught. If you must sleep near a business make sure to wake up before the sun rises and anyone starts showing up to work. Don't ever leave a trace of evidence that you were there or I can promise you someone will call the cops.

Rule # 3: Try to blend in as much as possible. If you have facial hair shave it off. If you must keep it trim it and make it look presentable. Not having a place to go is a challenge when you are homeless. Find a library during the day to hang out in. Find a college campus. Wherever you are play the part and try to blend in with the crowd and nobody will think you look out of place.

Rule # 4: Don't do illegal shit! This goes without saying but I think most people don't quite grasp this concept. Don't drink in public. Don't do drugs. Don't steal. Don't give anyone a reason to call the police. And avoid hanging out with anyone that does these things.

Free Food

Maybe you are homeless but you have too much pride to panhandle. Maybe you just need something to eat and there isn't a soup kitchen nearby or a church handing out food. Maybe you just don't want to be preached at just to get a decent meal. Whatever the case may be you are going to need to score some food. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I don't condone stealing myself unless it's for food and you are desperate. At that point you are just trying to survive. Although a human can go several days if not weeks without food, I wouldn't recommend trying to starve more than a day or so. You need energy to survive out here.

You can always try the dine and dash scam but not only can this get you in trouble with the cops if you get caught, you are also screwing over some poor waitress or waiter that might have to pay for your meal out of his or her tips. There are easier ways to score food.

One of my favorites is the hotel breakfast scam. To pull this off you need to dress the part. You can't walk in looking like a bum. Any hint at all that you are homeless and you're going to get caught. You also need to be at the hotel early but not too early. Weekend mornings are best after about 7am because there's going to be a lot of people coming and going.

What you need to do is blend in and act like you have a room at the hotel. Be careful because some hotel chains make you have a room key to access the breakfast but most of the time you can sneak in behind someone. If they have an open grill you may need your room key to place your order so I wouldn't recommend trying that. What you can do is grab some cereal or pastries, maybe some toast, or even a bagel. If there's tables you can eat your breakfast right there, if not just take your food to go. Don't stuff your pockets or get too greedy and bring negative attention to yourself. Be polite and respectful and blend in with the crowd.

This works at most hotels but it may be more effective if the hotel is off the beaten path. Hotels in the city might be on to this scam. If you have a car you can try different hotels until you find one that works. You might want to call around and get the continental breakfast schedules and write them down. Don't use the same place more than twice in a row.

Another scam to get free food is the fast food scam. There are several ways to pull this off. Sometimes you'll need a receipt and sometimes you won't. If you can get one it's always best to have a receipt handy. Simply go to a fast food joint and walk around. You should find a receipt easily. Dig through the trash if you have to. If you can't find a receipt you can always find a half-eaten burger or fries and take that back to the manager. If you have a cellphone call ahead and explain your order got screwed up. Most managers will want a receipt or the food back. Sometimes they will just write your name in a book. Sometimes this works out better than you think it will. It's rare but I've had a restaurant replace my meal and give me cash when I never even paid!

I justify this scam because I have been ripped off by fast food joints hundreds of times in my life and rarely have a I taken the time to get my order replaced or get my money back. Usually it just wasn't worth it.

As with anything you don't want to hit the same place up too many times in a row. You'll end up burning the place out. Not every place is going to be nice. Some managers are just plain dicks. Just be polite and if it doesn't work move on to the next place. If all else fails, simply stand outside the restaurant and ask someone to buy you a cheeseburger. People don't like to just hand over their money because they think you'll go buy booze or drugs, but 9 times out of 10 someone will buy you something to eat. It won't take you more than 5 minutes to get some type of food.

Another good way to scam free food is to crash large parties or picnics. It's easy to blend in but this takes some careful planning. A friend and I actually crashed a wedding reception once. It was very easy to do. We even managed to get free drinks.

If you don't want to scam a place out of food you can try asking someone in the back of the house to cook you up something or ask them if they have any food they getting ready to throw out. When I was homeless in Laguna Beach this was easy to do because the kitchen to some restaurants was open and facing the sidewalk. My buddy and I would tell the cooks we were homeless and ask them to cook us a couple of tacos. This actually worked if you asked them nicely. Another restaurant would give out free soup and bread if you asked. They didn't advertise this, it was something you had to know.

There's a rumor I've heard that Kentucky Fried Chicken will give anyone that is hungry free chicken around closing time. The story is something about it was Colonel Sander's policy to feed the hungry. I haven't tried it but several homeless people have told me it works. I'm sure if you went to any fast food joint around closing, explained that you are homeless and asked if they had any food they were going to throw out most would give you something.

I've also heard Trader Joe's puts all their expired bread out behind their stores at night and leaves it for anyone that is hungry. I would get there right about 9pm before it all gets picked over.

If you have half a brain there is no reason to sit there and be hungry. Before I knew these tricks I spent many nights going to sleep hungry. I wish I would have known this stuff a long time ago.

People Need To Mind Their Own Business

I had something interesting happen to me the other day. Recently I was able to get a disabled bus pass because I'm on dialysis. This works great because it greatly reduces how much I have to spend on public transportation.

I was on the light rail the other day when an inspector came by to check my ticket. I showed him my disabled pass and he just glared at me like I was bullshitting him. For the rest of my ride he kept walking by me giving me the stink eye.

Look, I know I don't look disabled or sick but don't judge me motherfucker. You don't know me so piss off! That's what I felt like saying. I guess I could have pulled up my shirt and showed him my catheter that goes into my stomach but why should I have to do all that?

We live in a society where everyone judges. How about just worry about yourself and leave people the fuck alone? Especially when shit doesn't affect you or you life. Too many people think they know everything but in reality they don't know shit. I know you think you have some sort of power over people because of you job but why don't you just do your job and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

There. My rant for the day.

Your Alias

If you are on the streets you need to have an alias or street name that you go by. If nobody makes one up for you then just make something up for yourself. Whatever you do don't go by your real name. Even though you don't expect to get into trouble, sometimes trouble finds you when you're homeless. Sometimes you need to just pack up and go. Maybe you've made an enemy. Maybe the cops are looking for you. The last thing you want is anyone knowing your real name.

Most of the guys I know on the streets I don't even know most of their real names. In Laguna Beach there was a guy named Big Jim. He was one of the first people I met when I became homeless. There was Hollywood, Stix, Spider, Chaz, Cowboy, Red, White Bear, Legend, and J just to name a few. Some of those names really fit the person. Spider looked liked a spider and Stix was known for carrying around his drumsticks every where he went and playing the drums on anything he could find including garbage can lids. One day Stix got into a fight with another homeless guy and actually poked the guys eyes with his drumsticks and went to jail for assault.

You don't have to come up with a colorful nickname. Really it can be anything, just don't go by your real name. While you are homeless someone will give you a nickname and it will stick. And if shit ever goes down they won't know who to look for.

If you hang out in one spot long enough the cops will know you by your alias and your real name so this only works if you can manage to stay out of trouble or don't stay in one place too long. It does you no good to have a great alias that everyone knows and when something happens the cops are looking for you anyways. It's always best to keep a low profile.

Homeless Man Finds Bag of Money

A homeless man who stumbled upon a bag of money is getting to keep the money he found. That's great for him but he's currently in jail on charges of public intoxication and criminal trespass. Translation:

Criminal Trespass = Looking for a place to sleep

Public Intoxication = He's homeless, the only drinking he can do is in public!

Regardless I find it amusing that he's in jail for public intoxication and the first thing he wants to do with that money when he gets out is buy a car. Next trip to jail is going to be for a DUI.

Homeless and Wired

There have been a few people questioning whether or not I am lying about being homeless or being on dialysis. I just wanted to squash that nonsense right now. Just because a homeless guy has access to the internet or computers doesn't mean he isn't homeless. This is the year 2012. Most homeless guys I know have iPhones, Ipads, Laptops, Blackberries, ect. It isn't unheard of.

We are also a very resourceful bunch. We know where all the WiFi hotspots are. For example, when I was sleeping in the business park in Newport Beach, CA there was a library about 2 blocks away. They never turned their WiFi off at night. I knew this because a buddy of mine had a car and he would go to the library at night and sit in his car long after they closed and get online.

I didn't have that luxury but there was an outdoor courtyard with some benches and working electrical outlets at the library. If I couldn't sleep I would head over to the library and jump online. The only problem with this was sometimes the janitorial staff would show up around 11 or 12 at night and I would have to sneak out of the courtyard top avoid getting caught.

Anyways, I just wanted to put that myth to rest. Most homeless guys aren't wondering around aimlessly pushing shopping carts. Many of us are actually sitting right next to you at your local Starbucks writing in blogs or surfing the net. You would probably have no idea we are homeless. Just goes to show how naive society can be.

Here's a picture of me as proof that I'm a dialysis patient. I'm not on here trying to scam anyone.

Homeless By Choice?

There are two schools of thought about homeless people. One thought is that some homeless people choose to be homeless. The other thought is that one would never choose to be homeless.

What's my thought on the subject? I truly believe people can and do choose to be or become homeless. I'm not saying everyone does but for some people it's a lifestyle for them. For others they have simply given up and decide to stop trying.

Look, people choose to do a lot of things that make little or no sense to most people. There are people that choose to go to prison, or choose to murder someone they love, or choose to take their own lives. Life is full of choices. Why should I judge a man that chooses to be homeless and it makes him happy?

I've heard people say that this is impossible. Nobody would ever choose to be homeless. Well let me put it another way then. There are people in this world that live in huge mega mansions and drive luxury cars. Those people could never imagine living in a small 1 bedroom apartment and driving a beat-up old car. But millions of people live this way and are perfectly happy. It's just a different standard of living.

I'm not saying being homeless is a great life but for some it suits them just fine. I have talked to many homeless people that don't want to leave the streets. They don't want to be told when to get up in the morning. They don't want the responsibility of a job or any responsibilities at all. They don't want to worry about paying bills.

Then there's the homeless that are drifters. They travel when they feel like it. They have nothing tying them down to one place. They are perfectly happy moving on when they get bored.

I know what you are thinking, "How can you know what they really want or what they are really thinking?"

I know because I've been there. I'm not saying I would choose to be homeless forever but there is a real freedom to being homeless that our society just can't comprehend. I'm not saying it's for everyone, because it isn't, but some people don't mind not having a home. I've been there. When I got off the streets the first time I actually missed being homeless. I missed my friends from the streets. They were like the family I never had. I gave up a room I was renting, a full-time job and got a ride back to California so I could live on the beach again. Maybe it wasn't the smartest of moves but I was happy to be with my "family" again.

Now that my health is bad I don't want to be homeless. But if my health was good I really wouldn't have a real problem with it. I would love the chance to have my health and start my life over again from the bottom. I call it a vacation from life. Only someone that has been here would ever understand this concept.

I have met homeless people that have had every opportunity to get off the streets and have either declined the offer or ended up being homeless again within a few short months.

I don't wish homelessness on anyone. I know there are people really suffering out here. I see them every day. There are many that don't choose this. But there are some that do and people need to keep an open mind about this when dealing with the homeless. Some people call it laziness, I call it a lifestyle.

Man Ticketed For Littering For Giving Money To A Panhandler

Just when I thought I've heard and seen it all. A man in Cleveland was given a $344 ticket for littering when he tried to give a panhandler money and the money landed on the ground.

The panhandler was in a wheelchair and was unable to reach the money. The cop was behind the man and watched him throw the money out of his window. The ticket was later dropped because money isn't considered "litter."

In Cleveland it is against the law to panhandle from the roadway and both the driver and the panhandler can be cited. In this case it was only the driver that was cited, but instead of a $160 fine the officer decided to cite him for littering.

Now the man says he will no longer give to panhandlers, only to charities. Wonderful. Let's make people scared to help others in need. Just what this country needs. I guess we don't have real crime to worry about anymore. At least not in Cleveland, OH.

Homeless Survival Kit

Maybe you are sitting in a library reading this blog because you are homeless. Maybe you are thinking about becoming homeless. Maybe you are wondering what you can do for someone that is homeless.

In this post I will discuss how to prepare for life on the streets in such a way that you can stay safe as possible and maximize your chances of getting back to a normal life.

Most people will never get the chance to prepare to become homeless. Usually when it happens it blindsides most people. Some people will see it coming weeks, months, or even years before it happens but they don't prepare because they don't think it can happen to them. If it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone.

Having a little cash and knowing how to spend it right can really make a huge difference how you spend your time on the streets and how long you stay there. Let's face it, say you found $200 on the street, how would you spend it? Most people that are homeless will go rent a cheap motel room for a few nights. Some might cave in to their addictions and blow the money on drugs or alcohol.

The first thing you should buy when you become homeless is a backpack. A backpack is probably the single most important item you can buy for your homeless survival kit.

A backpack allows you to carry all your belongings with you at all times. Unattended items will usually get stolen or vandalized when you are homeless, so everything you absolutely need must come with you wherever you go. Sleep with your backpack on. I used to reverse mine and wear it on my front when I slept.

You can buy a cheap backpack at Walmart or Target. You can even find them really cheap used at thrift stores. Don't worry about how it looks, if it has cartoon characters on it or whatever, only concern yourself with whether it is tough and will hold up with lots of use.

Don't buy anything too fancy or it might get stolen. Keep this in mind if you are buying a backpack for someone else, too.


The next thing you should buy is a cheap sleeping bag or blanket. I buy sleeping bags at Walmart for $10. This isn't the greatest sleeping bag but it worked for Southern California weather most of the time and as long as it isn't freezing in Seattle it gets me by. I think it's rated for 40 degrees. You can always layer up inside of the sleeping bag. If you are homeless in a cold weather environment you should look into getting a warmer sleeping bag. You don't want to be cold at night, you'll be miserable.

Just like picking out a backpack, don't spend a lot of money on a sleeping bag or worry about what it looks like. I've had several sleeping bags stolen or ruined by weather throughout the years.

You can also buy an emergency Mylar blanket. These are small, compact, and cheap but can keep you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. You can find these blankets in emergency kits or at stores like Target or Walgreens.

Face it, when you are homeless you won't always have access to a shower. Sometimes you are just going to have to make due. The last thing you want is people looking at you funny because you smell bad. You can minimize this by buying a cheap bar of soap and some deodorant. If you can find a clean bathroom you can give yourself a quick birdbath.

I cannot stress enough how important a toothbrush and toothpaste is. I am just now dealing with teeth and gum problems from years of neglect. When you are homeless the last thing you may be thinking about is brushing your teeth but it's so important. I thought I was taking pretty good care of my teeth but I didn't get around to brushing every day. Now I'm having all sorts of trouble with my teeth. I can barely chew some foods. I really believe this is why you see so many homeless people with dental problems.

Clean clothes are really important when you are homeless. I would suggest at least 3 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, and 3 -t-shirts. You will also want at least 3 pairs of underwear and buy yourself a 6-pack of socks. Your feet take a beating when you are homeless. You're going to go through a lot of socks.

Buy clothes that are easy to maintain. I wouldn't suggest buying the cheapest clothes because they will just shrink or get ruined fast. Buy clothes that are sturdy and clothes that will easily fold up without getting too wrinkled. I usually avoid places like Target or Walmart when I'm buying clothes, (except for socks and underwear.) I have found you can buy really nice clothes that are out of season at places like Macy's for 70% off in the clearance racks and the clothes end up being cheaper than what the discount stores have to offer, yet they last so much longer.

Another thing you will want to carry around is a tarp or plastic drop cloth. These can be found at stores like Walmart or almost any hardware store. There are going to be nights when it rains and you'll be glad you had it. You can use it to shelter yourself from the wind and rain or lay it down on the ground. The ground can be very cold and damp. I also recommend buying a cheap sleeping pad or egg crate foam. Buy something you can roll up and easily carrying around. I have spent countless nights sleeping on the cold, hard, ground or cement. Trust me, you want something underneath you.

No matter what climate you are homeless in you'll want to buy some hats and gloves. Even when I was homeless in Southern California, I always carried a beanie around with me. At night it can still get a little cold and a beanie not only keeps your head warm but you can also use it to pull over your eyes to keep light out and it also protects your hair from dirt and whatnot when you are sleeping outdoors. I even use one in the summer.

I also bought some longjohns for the winter and I always have a pair of gloves on me. I figure I can shed the extra clothes during the day when it gets warmer. You can even find beanies and gloves at the dollar store.

As crazy as it may seem you will need a cellphone to survive on the streets these days. Yes, even the homeless have cellphones now!

A cellphone is an important tool for any homeless person. You can use your cellphone as an alarm clock to wake you up in the morning. This is very important if you are sleeping somewhere that you have to get up really early so you can remain undetected.

Cellphones are also good to have in case of an emergency. Even if you have run of of minutes you can still use your cellphone to call 911. You can also give out your number to family members or friends who may need to reach you or leave a message. If you are looking for a job a cellphone is a must-have.

Cellphones are really cheap nowadays. Even without credit you can pick up a prepaid one for less than $20. Just watch your minutes and it shouldn't cost you much to maintain. You can charge your phone at the local library while you're using the computer or find a working outlet someplace and don't tell anyone about it. I found one in a park once and used it for a long time until until someone else found it and abused it.

Why Lie?

Some people might wonder if all panhandlers lie. From personal experience I can tell you that most do. That doesn't mean everyone does, but most lie.

Do I lie? You better believe I do. Now before you judge me or get angry you might want to know why I lie. I have a life threatening disability. I have end stage kidney failure and I have to do dialysis treatments to stay alive. Most people would be more than happy to help out someone that is legitimately disabled or ill but that's the problem. Nobody would believe me if I told the truth anyways. I have tried, people just look at me like I'm lying. I don't look sick. I look pale but other than that I look healthy as anyone. Some people probably assume I'm a drug addict because I'm so pale. That's not the case but too many idiots have ruined it for those of us that really do need help.

Now for the most part it doesn't really matter what you write on your sign. You could simply write "have a nice day!" and people will give you money. A few years back cops in Seattle set up a sting to catch drivers that weren't wearing their seatbelts. They put an undercover officer posing as a homeless guy with a sign on a sidewalk and when he spotted a driver that wasn't wearing a seatbelt he would point to that car and a marked car would pull that driver over. The officer's sign simply said "Buckle Up." People kept trying to give him money!

Sometimes I get bored or I have to create a new sign because the cops confiscate mine. I have found it hardly matters what you write. Most people just want to help. There are homeless guys that will write "Why Lie, I Need a Beer." People give these guys money. My theory is maybe a different type of crowd gives that guy money and if I'm holding a sign saying "God Bless" maybe a more religious type crowd will give to me. In the end people are either going to give or they're not.

Out on the streets you see all types of guys. As I've talked about before, most panhandlers do lie. I have met panhandlers that aren't even homeless. I knew a guy that would write homeless on his sign but he had a house. He would take his earnings from panhandling and use it to go gamble at night. Another guy said he was an Iraq Veteran and he never served a day in the military. He had the military haircut and clothes to boot. He would take his money and go buy booze at night.

Then there were the two guys that would always give me a hard time when I was panhandling. They were always trying to take my spot. I had no problem sharing my spot but these clowns were scammers. One guy had a fake cast and everything. He even walked with a limp. His buddy would use a cane and hunch over while panhandling. He looked like he could be anyone's grandpa but as soon as he was done for the day he would tuck his cane under his arm, stand up straight, and walk to his car. Both these idiots had an expensive heroin habit. They also both made a lot of money because people felt sorry for them.

I'm sure there are many other scammers just like the ones I told you about. Bottom line is these people ruin it for everyone. Based on my experience alone, I would have to say 75% of the panhandlers you see aren't really homeless.

Do you have to lie to panhandle? I don't know. I guess it all depends. At the end of the day you are the one that has to live with yourself. I once put on my sign that I was a veteran and someone stopped and handed me a $20 bill and said, "Thanks for serving!" I felt like a complete ass. If I do lie I try to be as honest as possible. I don't say I have 5 kids to feed or any bullshit like that.

If you do give to panhandlers it never hurts to check out their story. Any guy that has served is going to be able to answer basic questions about his background. The ones that lie can't even do that. They are usually too stupid to have the correct answers.

How I Became Homeless

People that stumble upon this blog might wonder how I got to a point that I needed to start panhandling or how I ended up homeless in the first place. Some people might wonder why I just don't "get a job." I haven't really addressed how I became homeless in the first place so here's a little background about me.

I have a life threatening illness and I'm disabled. I have End Stage Renal Failure, my kidney is so bad I now have to do dialysis treatments to stay alive. I only had one kidney to begin with. My left kidney was removed when I was an infant. My right kidney was saved but very damaged from an obstruction. I had several surgeries when I was a kid, my last major surgery when I was 8 years old.

Being born with an obstruction really isn't that uncommon. If treated most babies will recover well and both kidneys will recover. I was very sick until I was 8 months old. My birth mother didn't get me to the hospital until it was too late to save my left kidney. My right kidney was very damaged. To this day she will not apologize or even acknowledge that she was a shitty mother and that her actions and disregard for my health cost me a lifetime of medical problems. If she ever did I could probably forgive her but that will never happen. She happens to be a very cold-hearted person. She is the kind of mother you read about in the news and you just have to shake your head. Not only did she not get me prompt medical treatment but she used to let my biological father beat me and mentally abuse me. What kind of mother does that? 

So that's how my medical problems started. After my last surgery when I was 8 I seemed to be doing OK. My kidney was holding up pretty well but I still was spilling a lot of protein in my urine which was a sign my kidney wasn't 100%. In my early 20's my kidney function declined but I was still able to get by. A person can live fairly well with just 25% function of a solitary kidney believe it or not. Anything under 25% and a person doesn't do too well. At 15% function it's time to start considering dialysis or a kidney transplant.

In my early 30's my kidney function declined further to around 49% which isn't too bad. Just 2 years ago it was at 12% and I had to start thinking seriously about dialysis. I have another blockage but my kidney is so damaged my doctors don't even want to try and fix it this time. Just 2 years before I found this out I had a doctor misdiagnose me at a hospital. I remember the ultrasound tech telling me she saw fluid backing up into my kidney. This is very bad. the condition is called hydronephoris.

Normally I would be able to file a lawsuit against the hospital and the doctor but in the state of Idaho where this happened the statue of limitations is only 2 years on medical malpractice lawsuits. I just missed the cutoff. Bottom line, the doctor should have known there was a problem given my history and the evaluation of the ultrasound technician. I could have had surgery to save my kidney. At that point I still had about 25% kidney function which amazingly enough we can do pretty well with just 25% of one kidney. Anything under 15% function and dialysis is the next step. My kidney function right now is just 7%.

That's my medical background in a nutshell. Being on dialysis isn't easy. Even if I wanted to go back to work it would be difficult right now. I'm not supposed to lift anything over 10lbs and I have to do four dialysis treatments every day. There are people on dialysis that do work, I'm just not in a position that I can right now.

Because I'm young I get a very small Social Security check every month. I get less than $750. In my area that wouldn't even cover rent for a room let alone a studio or 1 bedroom apartment. I still need money to buy my medications (Most are covered but I have to pay copays of as much as $30 and I currently have about 12 prescriptions, not including my dialysis solution.

When the kidneys fail so many other things go wrong. Blood pressure increases because you can't remove excess fluid and sodium as easily. Kidney patients get anemia. I have to take a hormone shot once a week to boost my hemoglobin count. Anemia makes me pale, tired, cold, and weak. Loss of kidney function also puts me at risk for heart attack and stroke. I also have to be careful because I'm at a high risk for sudden bone fractures. Kidney disease sucks. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

Some people live OK for a long time on dialysis but a lot don't. The sad reality is 25% of dialysis patients don't make it 5 years. Me being in my 30's, this scares me. Now I know there are a lot of older people on dialysis and very sick people so this skews the numbers a bit. Even still I belong to a kidney support group and I know members that have passed away that are younger than me. My best option would be a kidney transplant. I'm working on that as I write this. It's not a simple process.

I'm not blaming kidney disease for making me homeless. It was a combination of several things. But I want to clear one thing up, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't even drink anymore. I had just got out of a relationship, I wasn't getting along with my family, and I had no job, so I moved to Southern California. Except one important thing, I had no money!

Laguna Beach Sunset

I thought I could just live on the beach for a few weeks until I got on my feet. This was in 2007 and I was still somewhat healthy but the recession kicked in and Southern California got hit hard. I might have picked the wrong place at the wrong time. I slept in a park my first night on the wet grass. The next night was Christmas Eve 2007 and I found a homeless shelter in Laguna Beach. This shelter was one of the nicer ones in the area. They used a gym in a church to house the local homeless. The only problem was they only ran the shelter on nights when it got under 45 degrees or it rained. The other nights you had to sleep outside somewhere.

That Christmas Eve was rough. Just one month before my grandparents passed away. I was really close to them. They died within 3 weeks of one another. Everything was crashing down on me hard. My grandma always made Christmas so special. Now I just wanted to forget it was even Christmas.

My Grandma and Grandpa

Once you become homeless it's really tough to get back on your feet. It's not for the faint of heart. I don't really recommend it. You kind of get sucked in. That's what happened to me. My health kept getting worse and my family didn't care. Even when I found out I would need dialysis soon, my own mother told me I couldn't stay with her. She's so fucking heartless she wouldn't even let me store my dialysis supplies at her house. I swear I could be dying on her porch and she would just step right over me like I didn't even exist.

I've always had a bad relationship with my family. My mom left my alcoholic father when I was 13. He wasn't just a drunk, he was mean. He mentally and physically abused me. I ended up running away from home several times. I pretty much grew up on the streets or living with friends or my grandparents. It's a wonder that I didn't get caught up in drugs or worse. It's also a big reason why I knew I could make it in Southern California with no place to go. I've always been a free spirit. That's just the kind of guy I am.

So that's pretty much how I ended up on the streets the first time. Everyone has their own story. I'm not really blaming anyone. It was a lot of things combined that got me there. Did I make some mistakes along the way that may have contributed to my situation? Sure. But I didn't do anything to ask for my kidney disease. It was the hand that I was dealt. Most people end up homeless due to drug abuse, alcohol abuse, mental illness, bad health, or a combination of all four things. When you have a family that doesn't give a shit, then it's the perfect storm.

I've made mistakes along the way but I've also been put in situations where I had to make tough choices. This past year my marriage was failing. I think my health problems put a lot of strain on our marriage. My wife was much younger than me and I couldn't give her everything she needed. We also had a lot of financial problems because I wasn't bringing in much money. Everything was on her shoulders. Do I blame her? No. She loved me and we tried to make it work.

In the end I probably stayed longer than I should have because of my health. I knew I had to make a change. I knew I had to go home even if that meant I might end up homeless. I just didn't have many options. I thought I might be able to stay with a friend but that didn't pan out. I asked my family for help but as usual they could careless. My best friend is going through his own tough times, his mom recently passed away and he's been out of work and he has to take care of his kids. I couldn't bring myself to ask him to help me. That leaves me homeless but not hopeless.

My Humble Abode

Since shelters don't work you better learn to fend for yourself if you're going to survive the streets. It isn't easy. I do have a few tips but some of these may work in your area but some won't.

One cold, rainy, night in California I was searching for a place to sleep. I had to get out of the wind and rain. I broke one of my first rules about urban camping, never sleep in a business park.

That night I was desperate so I found some office buildings. I was hoping to just find a bench in a covered area but what I found instead was like hitting the jackpot. I was walking through a courtyard and spotted a hallway that I thought I could sleep in. I walked down the hallway and found another hallway that lead to some bathrooms. The bathrooms were locked of course but that didn't matter. The entire hallway was enclosed so it blocked any rain or wind. Later I also found working outlets in there as well and any homeless person knows finding a working outlet outdoors is like finding a goldmine.

My Sleeping Spot

As you can see in the above picture the hallway also had a light. The light was always turned off. I only turned it on so I could get a decent picture. I rarely ever used that light because i didn't want to give myself away. This place was a rare find. It was in a very safe area but the buildings around me were vacant because of the recession.

What was ironic was I slept within 100 feet of another building that was the office of Scott Boras. For those of you that don't know who the man is, he is probably the most powerful sports agent on the planet. He was signing mutli-million dollar deals with players as I slept 100 feet away! There would be nights when I arrived at my hideaway to find dozens of luxury cars in the parking lot. I had to sneak in without being seen. The next day I would read about the latest baseball player that he helped sign.

Most nights if I arrived at my spot by 10 everyone was gone for the night. It was rare that people were around. I had to be up and out of the area by 6am at the latest to avoid being detected. One morning I got lazy and slept in until 7 and I woke up to someone walking right by me, like they nearly tripped over my head! I have no idea if they saw me but I was scared to go back for a few nights. The amazing thing is there was little or no security. I never once got caught by the police and I probably slept there for nearly a year off and on. Sometimes I think people did know but they probably left me alone because I didn't leave a mess and always left really early.

The only trouble I really ever had in the spot was I put my sleeping bag in a bush near the offices one night and someone either stole it or threw it away. I also had a real issue one morning where I woke up with bad stomach problems. I knew I wouldn't make it to the nearest bathroom that was about two blocks away. Nature was calling so I had to do what I had to do, I sat in a planter and did my business. I had an old bus schedule so I tore out the pages for TP. It was a disaster. I was really scared that would also give me away. I wanted to come back and try to clean it up as best as I could but when I came back the next night it appeared a gardener had taken care of it. Poor guy.

I don't recommend camping out in business parks. Usually there's security. It worked out for me but it may not work out for you. Sometimes you find spots in the most unusual places that nobody else would think of. That's what happened to me. I got lucky.

When you are homeless you have to keep your eyes peeled at all times for that perfect sleeping spot. I call it scouting. During the day you should be doing this. At night you should hang out and see if there's a lot of traffic and whatnot. Scout it out for a few nights. Even if you have a spot now it's always good to have a couple of backup spots. I recommend at to have at least three go-to sleeping spots you can count on in your local area.

Where's my current spot? I can't share that with you otherwise I would give it away. At least you know a great spot to sleep if you're ever down and out in Orange County, CA.

Why Shelters Are Not The Answer

Many people outside of the homeless community believe that shelters actually help homeless people. These people will blindly give to these shelters and their charities without thinking twice. Let me explain why that isn't such a good idea no matter how reputable you think the charity is.

One of the first shelters I ever stayed at was the Salvation Army. The rules were strict, so strict that it made it impossible to work during the day. In order to secure a bed at the Salvation Army you had to show up at the shelter by 3pm and start standing in line. About 4:30pm they would start checking people in. If there was a bed that was open you would be lucky enough to secure a bed for the night, if not you were out of luck.

The first thing you had to do was shower. That was fine by me but you had just 30 minutes to shower before dinner was served. Most of the time the showers were so full you had to wait and if you missed that shower you could get kicked out on the spot. You better have a good pair of flip-flops too. Those shower floors are nasty!

Dinner was served at 5. Almost all of the food was donated and most of it was expired product from grocery stores. I didn't mind week old bread or chips, but I had a real problem with expired milk and meat.

After dinner you could watch TV until it was time for bed. Lights would go out about 10 or 11, I can't remember. At 5:30am you had to wake up. Most of the time you would already be awake because people were up moving around as early as 4am. And that's if you got any decent sleep.

One thing you'll want to carry with you if you are going to sleep at any shelter is a good pair of ear plugs. Most of the time you are sleeping in a room with 20 guys. At some shelters it's much worse. I've stayed at shelters where I'm sleeping with over 100 other homeless people in a small gym with only inches between the filthy mats we were sleeping on.

You are going to hear snoring. Half of the guys you are sleeping next to are either older, drunk, overweight, sick with a cold, or have other breathing conditions. It's bad. Real bad. Better have those earplugs. Then you have the farting. I'm not prude but again, it's an all night thing. You will also have guys getting up at all hours to go to the bathroom and again this makes a lot of noise. You will hear doors slamming, flushing toilets, people talking, you name it. This is all on a good night. On the really bad nights you will have fights that break out at 2am and the cops getting called. This happens more often than you think.

If you can get through that first night you will get kicked out right after breakfast. Now you have to fend for yourself for the day. You can't get a lot done because you need to be back by 3pm to secure your bed again. At this particular Salvation Army you could stay for 7 nights per year. That's it. After that you are SOL.

Now you either sleep outside or try your luck at one of the really bad shelters out there. Most of these other shelters will hand you a filthy mat and dirty blanket that you can plop down on a gym floor. If you are lucky you will have maybe 4 inches between you and the next guy. There are no showers and most of the homeless that frequent these shelters are really filthy. Their socks could stand up and walk on their own. The smell is awful. You are lucky if you don't catch something. At the very least you will end up with whatever cough or flu that is going around.

Again, this is if you can manage to even get into any of these shelters. I say you are better off staying outside in a safe place if the weather is decent enough. You are much less likely to end up getting sick and you'll actually get some decent sleep. I can't tell you how many times I left a shelter in the middle of the night because of the noise and went and slept at a park and got some real sleep.

The reason you shouldn't give to most of these shelters is because there are people lining their pockets with your money. They get all kinds of tax write-offs and tax exemptions. All they care about is having a body count. They don't want the homeless to make it off the streets. That's not their mission. Anyone that has ever been homeless knows this is true. They make it nearly impossible to get back on your feet. There may be a few shelters out there that are an exception but I have yet to find one. Here in Seattle you are lucky if you can even get into a shelter at all. It's pretty much a lottery and you have to stand in line all day to get a ticket. If your number is called you are in. If not, good luck.

Ted Williams 1 Year Later

The "Man With The Golden Voice" Ted Williams is now clean and sober and living in a condo. He has a girlfriend now and making a decent living with that great radio voice of his. He even has a book that recently came out. It's great to see him turn his life around. It's kind of scary how much this dude looks like Obama though...

How Much Does a Panhandler Really Make?

You've heard the stories, man panhandles and then someone sees him jump into his brand new BMW and drive away. Woman panhandles and someone followers here to her $500,000 home in the suburbs. A couple in Oregon make up to $800/day panhandling in a Walmart parking lot.

There are people that really believe people get rich panhandling. Like anything in life there are always those extreme examples but more often than not the people you see panhandling are not living the good life and I'll tell you why.

First let me explain how much money a panhandler can expect to make. When I'm panhandling I can expect to make between $15 to $30/hr. The average is closer to $15 than $30. Some days I have really good days. Some days I panhandle all day and barely make $60. Other days I make $10 in 2 hrs before I'm chased off by the police.

When you are panhandling you can't expect to make a certain amount of money. You will get disappointed. You can't expect people to give you money because once you do you get letdown. When the average person goes to work they pretty much know how much money they are going to make by the end of the day. With panhandling this is impossible to figure.

Just because I make about $15/hr standing in a desirable location in Seattle doesn't mean you will make $15 in Boise, ID. Location is everything. Ideally, you want to be in a high-traffic location where cars are going to have to stop if you're flying a sign. Off-ramps are ideal but are patrolled by cops often. Most states have laws banning panhandling within 500 feet of a freeway. If you are willing to risk the citation you can make decent money off a highway. I don't recommend it unless you are really desperate and you have a lookout.

You want to panhandle where there is some money but not in such a wealthy area that the cops are going to harass you. In general wealthy people are not as generous as your average blue collar worker. You also don't want to panhandle in the ghetto because it's dangerous and people aren't as likely to have anything to give you. You will also be competing against more ruthless and aggressive panhandlers in those areas.

The most money I ever made in one day was $250. This was Black Friday right across the street from a major mall and I made that money in a little less than 4 hours. Once I made $250 I decided not to press my luck and just call it a day.

The most money any one person has ever given me was $100. This happened on 3 different occasions, twice near Christmas. I have heard of other panhandlers getting over a thousand dollars. I once saw a couple get a used car from someone. It was actually a decent little car. I also saw someone give another panhandler an RV. These are very rare occurrences. On average most people give between $2 and $5.

It's all really a numbers game. When a person gives me a $20 bill that makes my day but I know that all the little donations add up quickly. I don't get mad if someone only gives me a dollar. At the end of the day it's all money.

There are some reporters that have dressed up and went undercover to work as panhandlers. Most of them made very little money. I believe the reason why is they usually only panhandle an hour or so at most. It's impossible to get an accurate picture of panhandling in the amount of time. Also, there is a skill or a method to panhandling. Unless you get lucky you have to know what locations are best, time of day, how to maximize donations, ect. It's not a simple as putting on some grubby clothes and holding out a cup.

On the flip side of that you have people that exaggerate how much panhandlers make. These people usually have their own agendas because they want your donations to go to them and not the guy on the street. They see the panhandler taking money out of their pockets. These organizations are usually churches, homeless shelters, soup kitchens and so-on.

The real answer is somewhere in between. You also have to remember, most panhandlers don't panhandle for 8 hours a day. Most just panhandle to get what they need, whether that's a drink, a fix, food, or bus fare. Some panhandlers will panhandle until they have $5 or $10 and call it a day. Most won't panhandle all day. It's nearly impossible to panhandle for 8 hours straight. You have to deal with the elements, the cops, other panhandlers harassing you, and exhaustion. It's not as easy as it looks.

Bottom line is this, most panhandlers are not getting rich. Some are homeless and some are not. Most of the ones with homes are struggling to get by. Usually they are collecting Social Security and they panhandle as a way to supplement their income. I have yet to meet another panhandler that is driving a luxury car. Does it happen? I'm sure those people exist but they are the exception rather than the rule.

Can You Hear Me Now?

You wouldn't think cellphones and homeless people mix but in reality almost every homeless guy I know has a cellphone now. Cellphones are cheap. You can even get a iPhone now on a prepaid plan. I even know some homeless guys that have laptops! Think about it, who needs a cellphone more, the guy with a home or the guy sleeping under a bridge?

People still judge. Bottom line, if you're gonna panhandle, keep your cellphone in your pocket. It doesn't look good to be begging for money while texting or answering calls. I met a dude once that was panhandling and a car pulled up to give him money and he had the nerve to tell the person, "hold on a minute," while he kept jabbering on!

Have I ever used a cellphone while panhandling? Sort of. I was waiting to hear back from a job that I applied to and I felt my phone buzzing. But even I had enough sense to put my sign down and walk around the corner. Panhandling 101. 

Homeless Again

It's been a while since I updated. I guess I didn't update because I was doing pretty good and didn't feel like it. I don't know. Regardless, I'm homeless again. How and why I got back to this point is sort of a long story. It's hard to explain.

I was doing PD for a while and it was going well. My marriage wasn't. We had problems. Things got to a point where I knew I needed to move back home. I made the mistake of coming back to Washington state thinking I would have support from my family. I didn't. I begged both of my parents to let me stay with them until I could get on my feet but they refused. I even asked them if I could just store my dialysis supplies in their garage and I would camp in the woods until I got my social security check but they refused. You read that right. They refused to let me store my life-saving medical supplies in their garage!

Dialysis is something I have to do 4 times a day, every day. My bags of solution are heavy. I have over 35 boxes to last me a month. I can't carry this shit around. I could carry 4 bags max. I'm not even really supposed to lift over 10lbs. That's my life.

I was able to get a motel voucher with some help from the Northwest Kidney Center but that ran out after 3 short days. After that I had to go without dialysis for almost a week until I got my social security check. I was able to do that by not eating much so I wouldn't build up toxins and because I have a little kidney function left (about 7%.) Most dialysis patients can't go more than a few days without it. Regardless fluid and toxins build. I wasn't doing too good.

A week later and my money is dwindling. Motels here are way too expensive. My social security check is tiny. I have about $100 left from my money and what I've made panhandling. I knew I couldn't spend another dime on a room so I bought a tent, sleeping bag, and some other gear to survive on the streets of Seattle. Actually, I'll be camping in the woods but it's still the streets no less.

My only hope is I can panhandle enough money every day on the freeway offramp and that the cops don't harass me too much so I can build up enough money for a room to rent or at least another motel. Hopefully it won't take long so I can get my medical supplies and start doing my treatments right. For those of you that don't know, my only other option is to do Hemo dialysis but that requires access which takes surgery and time to heal. Also Hemo isn't a great option. PD is working great for me and it's better for my body but I don't have a home.

As far as my transplant options, I have a friend that got tested in California. She's a match and she's in good health but I have to start the transplant process over again here in Seattle and that takes a few months. Also, I can't be homeless and get a transplant. There's no way that can happen.

That's where I'm at. I've seen a lot on the streets already. I seen a man die. I seen another guy get stabbed. Seattle is pretty safe but no city is safe being homeless. I'm hoping to keep a low profile and do my panhandling thing until I can get back on my feet. I'll update more often. I use the libary mostly but hoping to buy an inexpensive laptop. Not a real priority right now. If anyone has an old working one to donate let me know. I'm working on getting a PO Box.