PD

I know it's been a while since I last updated. I've had a lot going on the past couple of months. Last month I had some blood tests done and found my creatine had risen considerably from 7.1 to 9 just since July. My kidney function had now deteriorated to the point where I would need dialysis. Since I don't have any live donors lined up I only really had too options, choose dialysis or get sicker and eventually die.

Since I want to live I chose the dialysis option. I'm also choosing PD (Peritoneal dialysis) This type of dialysis is much gentler on the body and other organs and I can do it from home. It's actually ironic because now I can't possibly be homeless since there is no way I could do my dialysis treatments on the streets unless I went with the Hemo option.

I had surgery one week ago today. I had a catheter placed in my stomach and also surgery to repair a hernia. I can't actually start the dialysis treatments until my hernia heals which will take about 3 weeks. Until then I am being trained how to do my own dialysis at home.

The surgery wasn't fun. I woke up confused and in a lot of pain. I also became nauseated and started dry-heaving which if you ever had surgery on your stomach, you know this is really bad! It's amazing how quickly the body heals itself. Last weekend I couldn't even sit up on my own. Now I'm walking around and doing my better. The worst part wasn't the pain though. The worst was the constipation from the pain pills. I'm not much of a pill guy so I only took about 4 over a 3 day period, but that was enough to fuck me up pretty good. I had my surgery on Friday, I didn't have a bowl movement until Wednesday! Talk about pain!

So I'm on my way to feeling better. It's funny, I was so scared of dialysis but now I realize it's not so bad. It's not something I would wish on anyone but I know I'm going to get through this. Sometimes you just have to face your worst fears head on and then you realize you were afraid for nothing. It's going to be OK.

I will try to keep up with my blog more often. Have a great weekend!

Panhandling Starter Kit

Some people look down upon panhandling. But at some point it's something you might have to resort to. If you are going to be out there on the road you are going to need a few things to survive. Maybe you are thinking about giving panhandling a try for the first time but you're not sure what you need. Here's what you'll need to get started:

• Sunscreen. I don't care if you are in a sunny climate or cloudy. You are going to want to lather up in sunscreen before you head out. I recommend the highest rating. You are going to be standing out there for hours. Believe me, you'll need it.
• Water. Like Sunscreen, water is essential. You can get dehydrated fast out there.
• Backpack. You are going to need a backpack to carry goody bags and whatnot that people will give you. A medium sized backpack is fine.
• Magic Markers. You will need markers for your sign. Cardboard is everywhere so that shouldn't be a problem. Be sure to bring the markers in case the cops confiscate your sign so you can make a new one on the fly.
• Insect repellent. Depending on the climate you might need a can.
• Snacks. You will get hungry. Bring a few small snacks to tide you over.
• Positive Attitude. This is really important. Don't expect everyone to give you donations. Remember, nobody owes you anything. Every donation is a gift. Take the insults with a grain of salt. Keep a positive attitude out there.

My Homeless Rules

When I was homeless I came up with 30 rules to being homeless, or getting off the streets I should say. I lost the list of rules but I was going through some old emails and I found them. At some point maybe someone that is homeless might stumble upon this blog so I thought I should post these rules. Most of these things are common sense but you would be amazed that most of the time when you become homeless, common sense goes right out the window. I truly believe if you follow these simple rules that you will stay as safe as possible and get yourself off the streets.


1. Be careful who you associate with. Just because you are homeless does not mean you have to mingle with other homeless people all the time. It's not being judgemental, there's a lot of negative energy in this community and it's far too easy to get sucked into that mentality.

2. If you do mingle with the homeless, use them to get valuable information such as when and where you can get a meal, or where you can locate resources that are available to the homeless. Be careful though, some people will you give you the wrong information or lead you in the wrong direction. I don't know if it's just plain ignorance or they just want to mess with you. It's always best to ask more than one person just to be sure.

3. Reality: There are very few homeless people that really want to better themselves or get themselves off the streets. This I know from experience. Hang out with people that will better you, not bring you down. Do not hang with guys that sit around drinking all day and stay clear of anyone that does illegal drugs.

4. Find a safe, quiet place to sleep. This should be one of your first priorities when you become homeless. There are homeless shelters in some cities but don't count on them. Shelters have a lot of negative drawbacks and they are not for everyone. When you find your sleeping spot be sure not to tell anyone where it is unless you know beyond a doubt that you can trust them and that they won't screw up your spot. Keep a low profile. Get up early (before dawn is best) and clean up after yourself. Leave no trace that you were ever there. Pay close attention to the patterns and habits of people that reside or work in the area where you sleep so you can go undetected. Last but not least, make sure your spot is in an area that the local police don't patrol often.

5. This goes back to rule number 4, stay clear of homeless shelters if at all possible. They are notorious for being loud all night and it's really hard to sleep. You will have to follow strict curfews and very negative people. You will also leave yourself more venerable to illnesses. I believe that shelters are not the answer if you want to get off the streets.

6. Get at least 6 solid hours of sleep a night. More if possible. It's very important to get your rest. You will not be able to function properly without the right amount of rest and your mental and reasoning skills will decline rapidly.

7. If you can, get a dog. A dog can be a huge responsibility but it will protect you and wake you up at night if people or wild animals try to attack you while you sleep. A dog also makes a great companion. One major drawback is that the dog may bark at night and give you away.

8. Avoid eating fast food or eating at restaurants. This is a major expense and the food is not very healthy. Fast food will not only drain your wallet but also your energy. Try to buy small quantities of food and eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. You want to maintain your health and keep your immune system as strong as possible.

9. As tempting as it might be, do not drink alcohol or do drugs of any kind. This should be common sense but most people can't avoid this pitfall on the streets. This isn't going to solve your problems and will only set you back even further. If you smoke, now is a great time to quit. You will feel much healthier, get sick less often, and save tons of cash.

10. If you don't have a car, buy a used bicycle. This is great exercise and can save you time and money getting from place to place.

11. Join a gym. Try a place like the YMCA or 24Hour Fitness. You will have a place to shower and you can get into shape. Maintain your hygiene. People will judge you based on your appearance and how well you groom yourself. Try to blend in and not appear homeless. This will help you get a job faster and at most gyms the cost comes out to about a buck or less a day.

12. Buy a cellphone. Even if your credit is bad you can at least get a prepaid phone or get on a pay-as-you-go plan. You need a phone so you can apply for jobs and so friends or family can contact you. Cellphones are great in case of an emergency and you don't need minutes to dial 911. Be careful of companies like Metro PCS though. You get what you pay for.

13. Get a PO Box or use a place like Mail Boxes Ect. for your mail. This is a valuable tool.

14. Rent a small storage unit so you don't have to lug all your belongings everywhere. This will help you not appear homeless and you don't have to worry about your stuff getting stolen.

15. If you can't afford a storage unit, find a safe, dry, hidden place for your belongings. Make sure nobody sees you stash your stuff and make sure you don't hide your stuff so well that you can't find it when you return!

16. Locate free or low-cost showers if you can. Try local swimming pools or the YMCA, they don't charge much for a shower. Always know where a clean bathroom with a mirror is. Stay clean. Try to shower at least every other day. Brush your teeth every day.

17. Look for a job every day. Try to spend at least an hour or two every day looking online and applying for jobs. If you are able to work, take whatever you can get. Restaurants jobs are usually easier to get because of the high turnover of employees and you can get great discounts on meals or sometimes even free food! This isn't the time to look for your dream job. Anything is better than drawing a blank.

18. If you must panhandle, then panhandle. Don't be afraid of rejection. Have no fear. Be polite and ask for change with a smile on your face. Make good eye contact. If they say no, still be polite and thank them anyways. Remember, nobody owes you anything. Be grateful for what you do get. Try holding a sign if you are willing.

19. Make friends with people that are not homeless. Hang out with people that have positive attitudes. Cut out anyone that is negative or that sucks the energy out of you. You are better off without them. Get rid of toxic friends. They are like a cancer.

20. Join a church even if you're not religious. Not only will make some good friends but it's good to have faith in a higher power when you are going through tough times. Try to pray every day and every night. You might feel better.

21. Join some websites such as meetup.com or couchsurfing.org. Make some friends that you have some common interests with.

22. The library is your friend. Use it. It is a warm, dry, safe place to hang out. Most have internet service for free. If you have a laptop, use their free wifi. While you are there you can search for jobs, look for local resources, or even just learn something new. They always have a copy of the local paper for free to look at. If nothing else, expand your mind. Read a good book, (the library is known to have books, who knew?) Remember, be respectful at the library and never sleep there.

23. Stay dry. There is nothing worse than being homeless and being soaking wet. Follow the weather and know what's coming so you can prepare.

24. Buy a cheap sleeping bag. Walmart has some (40 degree rating) that are just $9.99. Make sure you buy one that will work for the climate you're in.

25. Like Kenny Rogers said "Know when to fold 'em, know when to run." Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on. If what you are doing just isn't working out don't be afraid to try something new or travel to a new place if possible. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help.

26. Always try to stay positive. It's hard to do in tough times but it's probably the single most important trait you can have out there. Your attitude will make or break you. When shit hits the fan, turn off the fan. You have to want to get out of this situation bad enough.

27. Save money. I don't care what you make. Save at least 50% of everything you make. This shouldn't be that hard since you are homeless and don't have rent to pay. Don't touch your savings unless it's absolute emergency or it's for a permanent place to live.

28. Don't get too comfortable on the streets. It's easier to do than you think.

29. Set goals for yourself. It doesn't matter how big or small these goals are. Make daily goals as well as weekly goals. Set your sights on something ahead and aim for it.

30. Refer to these rules daily. You don't have to follow every rule I have here. Maybe you have some of your own that you want to add for yourself. Whatever you do, follow some sort of rules and pull yourself together. When you become homeless your confidence fades quickly. Don't sink too low.

How You Can Help

A few people have written me and want to know how they can help. There are several ways you can help me out. I've just begun the transplant process so there are a lot of unknowns. Here's what I know you can do to help:

• Become an organ donor. This is something anyone can do. It's easy and simple and it could save a life, or even multiple lives! I'm even an organ donor! (You probably wouldn't want my kidney though) Make sure your family knows because if they ever have to make that decision for you, there will be no question to what your wishes are.


• Get tested. I have asked healthy family members if they would get tested but I haven't heard back from them yet. If I can't get a living donor, I will have to go on dialysis and be put on the dreaded list. The wait could take anywhere from 2 to 5 years before I would get a kidney. A living donor is preferred. There's a much greater chance that the kidney won't reject. You are under no obligation to do anything at the point you get tested but at least you will have all the information. If you would like to get tested please write to me and I can give you all the information you need.


• Donate to help my cause. The typical kidney transplant costs about $90,000 for the first year. After the first year the costs drop to about $16,000 for the anti-rejection drugs and treatments. This may seem like a lot of money but this is a lot less expensive than dialysis treatments. Dialysis treatments cost tax payers $44,000 per year, per patient. So as you can see, the cost of a transplant is much less expensive. Also, someone with a successful kidney transplant is able to work and contribute to society again. There are some dialysis patients that work but it's very difficult. I'm not trying to get rich. I don't expect to get $90,000 in donations. I would be happy with a few dollars. I'm grateful to anyone that can contribute to me and 100% of any donations will go to helping with my medical costs. I'm applying for assistance but so far I've been denied from Social Security three times. I finally won earlier this month but it could be several more months before I see a dime from them. For the past 10 months my wife has worked two jobs just to keep our heads above water. But we are still broke, sometimes so broke I can't afford my co-pays for my medicine. I don't want to end up homeless again so sometimes it really comes down to paying the rent or buying my medication. As far as SSI goes, that is just how the process works. I don't even get food stamps. Anything helps. You can donate to me by clicking on this button:

If you don't feel comfortable donating to a complete stranger you can support the National Kidney Foundation and make a donation in my name, Shawn Thomas. Here's their link: http://www.kidney.org/support/donate.cfm

You can send a card or letter. Even if you don't have any money to spare I understand. Times are tough these days for everyone. You can send me a card. I am working on getting a P.O. Box set up. I am more than happy to accept cards or letters filled with words of encouragement :)

Whatever you choose to do, I appreciate the help!

The Ugly Truth

I decided to come back to this blog because there's a lot of misconceptions about homeless people and panhandlers. I've done a lot of reading about panhandlers because I have been there, done that. There's a lot of of people writing articles or blogs about homelessness that have their own agenda. They are either stretching the truth or leaving a lot of important information out.

There are also people that have no idea what it's like to actually be homeless. Maybe they've volunteered in a soup kitchen. They may have interviewed a few homeless people. They could have even spent a couple of nights on the streets as an experiment. These people talk like they are experts on the issue. Really they have no clue. I don't even have much of a clue and I've lived this off and on for 3 1/2 years.

I kind of got the idea about this blog from a guy who started another blog titled "Why Lie, I Need a Drink." His blog was pretty successful. Basically this guy went panhandling for a certain amount of time to see if he could support himself by panhandling alone. I'm not too sure what his real motives were to. In the end he produced a documentary about his panhandling experiences.

This guy used his blog to beg for money. Some people call it cyber-begging. According to him, people would actually send him money. He never claimed to make very much, maybe just a few dollars here or there. My biggest problem with him was that he admitted he was trying to fund his lifestyle by panhandling, he didn't want to work. Although he wasn't using the money for drugs or alcohol, this still bothered me a little bit. Then again, if people knew why he was doing it and they were still sending him money, then who am I to say anything right?

I thought, "If this guy can make a few dollars off his silly blog, then why can't I? After all, I have a real legitimate need."

But I'm not writing this blog just to make a couple of dollars. If people throw a few bones my way, then great. If not, no worries. For me, this is more about getting the word out about homelessness. I'm able to share my story and maybe give some advice. I can even come back and read about my own experiences down the road. Even if nobody else ever reads this blog, I still benefit from it.

I do hope people read it though. At the very least I hope I can help someone else facing homelessness. I hope they stumble upon this blog and can take something positive from this. I'm not the greatest writer. What you are reading is going to be really raw. I shoot straight from the hip. I'm not afraid to step on toes or hurt feelings. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. The truth isn't pretty but it needs to be told. I have no personal agenda. Hopefully in the next few months I can expose some of that truth.

I believe there is no tougher job than being a beggar. Nothing is harder than asking for compassion from people who hold you in contempt. Begging does a service, because it is a reminder to the fortunate that they could fall too.

Kelly Thomas

I don't think I have ever really cried over a complete stranger dying but this story really upset me. I sobbed staring at my computer screen when I first read it. Everything about this story bothers me. It hit so close to home. This man was my age. He slept on the very streets I slept on. I didn't spend a lot of time in Fullerton when I was homeless but occasionally I would get stuck up there after riding the nightowl buses all night trying to stay warm.

I've also been beaten by the police. In 2002 I talked back to an officer when I was getting booked into jail on a minor offense and I was beaten by several officers. I was still in handcuffs and never once resisted or tried to fight back. I was thrown on the cement floor and put into a hogtie position and beaten over and over again. I couldn't breathe. Every time I tried to say something (if I could at all) the officers would beat me harder and tell me to stop resisting.

I really thought I was going to die. I didn't have time to pray. I didn't have time to think about anything other than my life was going to fucking end this way. I wasn't getting any air. Everything started going black. My vision began to tunnel. All of a sudden my probation officer told the other officers I had a heart condition and they all jumped off of me. I was lucky. My life was spared. Had I died, the jail would have told my family and the media that I was violent and that I was resisting. Nobody would have believed otherwise.

What is crazy is I was in jail for violating a restraining order my mom filed against me! Just like Kelly Thomas, my own mother filed charges against me and got a restraining order. I don't have the mental issues Kelly Thomas had. I'm not perfect. I do suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and some other things. But I got into an argument on the phone with my mom because she had a big house and I was homeless and she didn't give a shit if I was out on the streets in the middle of winter. It almost cost me my life.

But I violated the restraining order right? Yep, I sure did. My own mom wanted me to help her with her house she was getting ready to move out of. Yea, because I was so violent and she was so scared of me that she invited me to her house, right? Little did I know that an ex called my probation officer and told her I went to my mom's house just to be vindictive and that's how I got arrested in the first place.

Hearing Kelly Thomas screaming makes me so angry and scared. I picture him scared out of his mind. Those really were the last moments of his life. This isn't fair. These officers were all clearly in the wrong. They need to be charged with murder.

In 2010 I witnessed a police shooting. You can read about that here. I saw an unarmed man get shot multiple times. He ended up dying as well. That traumatized me. But this is worse. This could have happened to me. You don't have to be violent with the police to get beaten. Some cops get off on this and actually look forward to beating people up. Especially homeless people. Cops HATE the homeless for a variety of reasons. They really don't like dealing with the mentally ill. What better way to take out your frustrations than beating someone to a pulp when they can't even defend themselves?

Being homeless isn't a piece of cake, with or without mental problems. You always have to worry about the police. I believe you have to worry about the police more than anything else. Nothing else you can run into out there is more dangerous than an asshole with a badge and a gun. I'm more afraid of the police than any criminal I could run into. That is crazy. These are the men and women that are supposed to serve and protect.

This happens more often than you probably believe. Most of the time it doesn't make the news or it goes away quickly and quietly. This time it was different because Kelly Thomas had a family that cared and they want to fight back. This time it made national news. Something has to be done to put a stop to this violent behavior by the men in blue. Often the homeless don't have anyone standing up for them. Often the ones that die on the streets die alone and quietly. Thank God Kelly Thomas had his family. Still, they weren't there to save him that night.

Home Sweet Home

Now that I've updated you about my health, I thought you might want to know how I finally managed to get off the streets. Let's just say I had a little help.

After my last post back in August of 2009 I had a few more run-ins with the police. Things just started escalating. I was in my usual spot and a guy walked by and gave me a couple of bucks. I like to call him my repeat customer. I don't remember his name but this guy would almost always throw me a few bucks even though he was struggling himself. Even when he was getting laid-off he would walk by and hand me a couple of dollars. I always felt bad he was giving me money. But him and I always managed to strike up good conversation.

This one particular afternoon he stopped and we we started talking. I even put my sign down. After about five minutes the cops rolled up on me. Not just one cop. Not two. Five cops! They grabbed me like I was under arrest and started searching me. I was scared. I really thought I was in some kind of real trouble. They even made me take off my shoes right next to the road.

It turned out this was all a big scare tactic to get me to stop panhandling in their city. They wrote me a citation but this one was actually a misdemeanor. They called it soliciting within 500 feet of an offramp. They took all of my money "as evidence" and discarded my sign. Needless to say, I never saw my money again.

This incident actually scared me. It made me stop. Luckily I had most of my money in my storage unit so I decided to buy a ticket out of town. I figured I had enough money to get to Nebraska and get a room for rent. The unemployment rate was very low in Nebraska. I thought this would be a great time to get out of Dodge.

A few things happened in the next few weeks. I bumped into an old friend and he had no idea I was homeless. He ended up offering me a place to crash so I took him up on his offer. It wasn't the best accommodations but it was better than sleeping on the streets.

I stayed with him for about a month but with me, him, and his brother sharing a tiny apartment I needed to find another place. I finally got the courage to start panhandling again. I never went back to the same spot but I did manage to risk everything and go back to the same city. The holidays were approaching and I knew this was the best time to make some money. I also knew the cops would be pretty busy.

I ended up panhandling off and on for about two more months. January 2010 came and I was starting to get a bit antsy. Then January 12 happened. I was riding a bus in Laguna Beach to go get my morning coffee like I always did when the bus came to a stop on PCH. I had my headphones on so at first I didn't hear anything but all of a sudden everyone on the bus started hitting the floor! I pulled my headphones off and I could hear gunfire and the bus driver screaming for everyone to get down!

Once the gunfire stopped I stepped off the bus. Don't ask me what I was thinking, I have no idea. I looked across the street and I could see three officers with their guns aimed inside of a wrecked car. Then they started firing again. I heard at least 10 to 15 rounds. You can read about the shooting here.

The man the officers shot was Colby Joshua Koenig. He died later that evening. He was only 25 years old.

What bothered me most this shooting was that Colby's car was blocked in. He had nowhere to go. He was unarmed. The entire incident didn't make any sense. I just knew it was time for me to go. I had had enough of the police and now I was even more scared.

I talked to a friend here in Boston and it turned out I might have a place to stay. At that point I called up a friend from a church I attended and asked if there was anyway he could help me get a ticket to Boston. I really wasn't 100% sure I had a place to stay, and it was the middle of winter, but I knew I had to make a change. Sometimes you have to take that risk. As a guy on the streets once told me, "If you want something you've never had before, you need to something you've never done before."

My friend bought me a train ticket and I left California February 5, 2010. It wasn't all smooth when I arrived here. My friend's family had no idea I was staying at their house but everything ended up working out. I was able to find work right away, even if it was just temp warehouse work.

I'm now married. I live in an older apartment across the street from the beach. I'm on the lease. I'm very grateful for how far I've come. It sure beats sleeping in an office hallway or a bus shelter.

I had to quit work and apply for SSI last winter. I got denied twice but finally had a hearing and won! I had to hire a lawyer but it was worth it. I still haven't seen a dime from Social Security yet. I've heard it takes a few months to get the backpay and the first check. I guess now I just have to be patient.

I haven't panhandled since I left California. My wife and I have been struggling a lot. I'm tempted to panhandle but I just don't feel right doing it since I have a roof over my head. Also, people here in Boston aren't as nice as people in Cali. I'd probably get beat up lol.

I do miss being homeless as crazy as that sounds. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to live on the streets but there is a certain freedom to not having a home. Only someone that has been homeless would understand that. You don't have bills, responsibilities, you can come and go when you want. You can really live off the grid.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a free spirit at heart. I love a good adventure. Being homeless sucked but I have some great stories I can look back on. At the end of the day I do appreciate just be able to have a home, a place to lay my head, a place where I feel safe.

2 Years Later...

Well, it's been a while. Almost two years to be exact. A lot has happened in my life since. A lot has changed. I don't even really know where to begin.

I'll start off by letting everyone know that I'm no longer homeless. I'm still living on the beach, but this time in an apartment on the East Coast. I'm also married. I guess you could say I'm stable now. But my life is anything but "normal."

Although I am off the streets, my health has taken a turn for the worse. I have End Stage Renal Disease which means without a kidney transplant I will have to go on dialysis.

Kidney disease is almost a silent disease. Sometimes there are no symptoms until you are in the late stages of kidney failure. By then you are shell-shocked. Even some of the later symptoms can be really vague. Sometimes at that point it's too late to save the kidneys. I knew I had kidney issues. I just didn't know had bad it had progressed.

I've been sick for quite a while. Kidney disease is something I have dealt with my entire life. I'm 37 years old now but I was born with a defect that caused blockages in my ureter. Something that has never been explained to me is that when I was an infant I was very sick but my mother failed to get me adequate medical attention. My mother took me to the doctors a few times but blood was never drawn and they sent me home every time. It wasn't until I was 8 months old that my mother finally took me to Children's Hospital in Seattle where they discovered what was causing me to be so sick.

My left kidney was destroyed and had to be removed. My right kidney was damaged and I needed surgery to repair the obstructions and get my kidney working correctly. I wish I could say that was the end of it and I lived happily ever after, but that wasn't the case. For whatever reason I developed new obstructions and had to have major surgery again when I was 3 and 8 years old. I don't remember much when I was a toddler, but I remember how sick I was when I was 8 and it sucked.

After my last surgery when I was 8 years old I finally seemed to turn the corner. For years I seemed to be doing much better. Serum creatine levels are something a doctor looks at to evaluate kidney function. Normal levels are anywhere from .6 - 1.2 deciliters in a healthy person. When I was 13 years old my creatine was 1.3. Just to put that into perspective, when I was 8 years old and very sick my creatine levels were over 9.

As I've aged, my creatine has slowly risen. In my early 20's my creatine levels were around 1.8. That's a bit above normal but not at all that alarming. When I reached 30 my creatine hovered around 2. My creatine maintained in the low 2's until about 4 years ago. Since then my creatine has risen considerably. Last summer I was at 4.2. Now it's 6.9.

In December I was admitted to the hospital for an unrelated condition and found out my creatine had risen to 5.5. This isn't good. This hospital was a small community hospital. I met with a nephrologist (kidney doctor) and a urologist. They did an ultrasound and found that I had another obstruction causing fluid to back up into my kidney. My condition is called Hydronephrosis.

The doctors at this hospital wanted to do surgery right away to try and save my kidney. I wanted a second opinion just to make sure I was going to get the best treatment possible. I'm glad I decided to get that second opinion. It turned out the surgery was unnecessary. It would have probably made my condition worse.

A few days after Christmas I started feeling really sick again so I went to the ER and was admitted to the hospital. During my stay, a team of doctors examined me and ran more tests and determined that the surgery was unnecessary and might even do more harm than good at this point. In layman's terms, my kidney was so damaged from this chronic obstruction that relieving the obstruction would not save my kidney, but probably put me on dialysis even sooner.

My creatine dropped down a bit to 5.1 at this point so the doctors discharged me. Since then I have had several follow-up appointments with different doctors. All of my doctors agree that without a transplant I will need dialysis at some point. It all depends on how fast this progresses.

When the kidneys go bad so many other things go wrong. One complication of CKD is anemia. A normal adult male should have a hemoglobin range of 13.5 - 17.5 g/dL. Mine in late December was 7.9. I was very pale and weak as you can see from the picture above. I was always tired and couldn't hardly walk up a single flight of stairs. In January I started getting Aranesp shots. The Aranesp shots help do the job that the kidney is failing to do and that is to tell my body to make more red blood cells. These shots are very expensive. They cost several hundred dollars a vile. The shot is given once a week until the hemoglobin gets back into a safe range. My wife is trained to give me the injections so I don't have to make a trip to the doctors every week.

That's were I stand now. My kidney function isn't getting better. It's only a matter of time before I will have to go on dialysis if I don't get a transplant. I went to my renal education appointment and I think I'm going to go with peritoneal dialysis. It seems to be better tolerated. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to travel or anything else yet but hopefully if it comes down to it I won't have to be on it for long. It's treatments that I have to do at home 4 times a day but I guess you have to choose between the lesser of two evils.

For now all I can do is take things one day at a time. I'm optimistic despite my health challenges.