Two Negatives Don't Make a Positive

I haven't posted in a week. This past week has been very difficult. I really just didn't feel like posting. Everything got real bad last Thursday. I got into a fight with my girlfriend. She had been having a few really bad days of her own and this really started to bring me down. I don't know why it did it just did. Maybe it was because I'm in this situation and making the best of things and trying to stay positive and she just kept seeing everything in a negative light. I had finally had enough and I just lost it. We got into a really bad fight and I called her a bunch of names that I now regret. Now we are broke up and I'm sad about that.

The weekend didn't go to well either. I was able to make some money and stick it in the bank. I now have $370 in my checking account. I'm trying not to touch the money and I won't as long as I keep making money every day. But every day I am taking a huge risk and it's only a matter of time before the cops nail me again. Today was way too hot to stay out there very long so I was only able to put away $40. It's so temping to get a hotel room but then my money will be gone in a flash. As it stands right now I have several bills that I have to pay so that money is already spent.

One funny thing happened over the weekend. Another homeless guy got mad because he thought I took his spot. This guy is an idiot and he spends his money on heroin so I don't give a shit. He starts yelling at me and his dentures start flying out of his mouth! It was fucking hilarious. I wish I had my video camera so I could have recorded it. Needless to say I stood my ground but I only ended up making $4 that day. Four measly fucking dollars...

I feel like I'm just getting by every day. Like I'm really not getting ahead. It's so tough out here. I need to stop treading water. I'm just taking things one day at a time but this is so frustrating. I need to leave California. I'm tempted to just buy a train ticket out of here but then my bills won't get paid and I will still be struggling someplace else.